Escape from Mommy Guilt

I resumed work almost six months ago, i needed that space.. needed that time out to do things that i enjoyed, to remind me what it was like to be 'ME'. I must admit that i am quite lucky  in that regard because my son has grandparents going ga ga over every little antics of his, loving him obsessively and taking excellent care of him. We also have a maid to help around with the mess he creates.

I know he is fine, i know his routine, i know he is loved and taken care of BUT every morning i walk out that door my heart goes in knots, my stomach churns and i want to rush back and hug him.. it takes every single ounce of will power to not look back and run..into the real world..into the buzzing maddess of this world.

A mom's got to do what a mom's got to do and unfortunately i don't believe there is any cure to all the guilt that mothers go through.. but you can always cheat your heart with loads of distractions.

Below are my top 5:

1. Listen to peppy, loud, meaningless music on your way to work (honey singh, beiber, lady ga ga). DO NOT listen to any beautiful meaningful songs because trust me, every good song WILL remind you of your little one.
2. Use the travel time to apply nail paint, the focus on your nails will take away the attention on the guilt.
3. Think about the bitchy co workers, all that negative energy will get routed towards them and will flush the guilt out of your system. DO NOT think about family..even an obscure uncle living in the south pole making a snide remark will cascade to what everyone else in the family also said and WILL make you even more miserable.
4. Go window shopping on your phone or if you are feeling really low, just shop..but don't make it a habit because a mommy has to budget EVERYTHING.
5. Read. Read.. READ engrossing thrillers, murder mysteries..anything enticing, cold, chilling..a complete 180 degrees to what you are going through.. It helps me like nothing else does..transports me so far away that sometimes, i need to be reminded that i have reached work already. This is the best way to time travel, cheat - heart travel, alternate universe travel..you get it. But please stay away from romantic, 'notebook' sort of books..  trust me, you are already drowning in the pool of emotions that your heart is churning out this very minute..you need something to halt that feeling not aggravate it.

Hope it helps.. and do let me know what your escape route is.